“Masturbation!” Did you just say that word? Hush. That’s disgusting! You’re such a pervert! Eww.. yuck! Are you sexually frustrated? Or simply desperate to get laid? Get a life dude! Why is it even important? You’re sick. ALL THIS AND SO MUCH MORE…
But why? If we think of it, what is masturbation? Isn’t it simply the art of Mastur-ing Self Love? Really! That’s all there is to it. It’s a moment of true passion, celebrating you and your body, exploring and indulging in it through touching and rubbing your genitals and all the other erogenous areas with sensuous strokes to achieve an orgasm. Simple! It’s nothing but a party for one, harmful to none!
But Mastur(de)bates are endless! Here are the top ones-
It’s only for men, not for women!
Why? And says who? Women are sexual sapiens too and have desires and fantasies that they want to satisfy. More than that, masturbation is also an excellent way to deal with mood swings, stress or even period cramps that so many of us struggle with. So, ladies! It’s high time we Mastur-ed the act and spoke about it openly with no taboo tags attached.
Will it make me less interested in partnered sex?
Of course not! Sex with your partner comes with its own brownie points. Masturbation, on the other hand, helps you understand your body better, and its sexual needs. It helps you decide what you enjoy more and how to express this to your partner with confidence.
Will it lead to infertility?
Absolutely not! There is no connection. You masturbate to feel good and get the stress off. It’s not like you have a “golden quota” of sperm which can only be redeemed towards actual sex. And god forbid you choose to waste on masturbating, it will make the “Fertility Gods” angry. No! That ain’t happening, people. An average healthy man ejaculates 1.25ml to 5 ml of semen each time and post the refractory period (resting time) your fresh batch of sperm is ready to go. In fact, it has been scientifically proven that masturbation actually helps to improve the fitness of the sperm by getting rid of older ones and using the fresh ones in case you are trying to conceive.
Does it count as cheating on my partner?
Well, to cheat on your partner you would technically need another person. Self-pleasure is all solo, hence you go guilt free, as many times as you want and however you want. Masturbating is normal and people around the world do it, so a little indulgence goes a long way sans cheat codes.
Let’s just keep the list at top 4, because the idea is to focus on the benefits, which is obviously the fortunate part.
So first things first- Masturbation does not come with any gender tags, gender rules or gender bias, age limitations or even creativity censors. It loves all, and you gotta love it back. Men do it all the time and so should women because it is literally the most harmless act of indulging in sexual pleasure without any dire consequences.
The thing is sometimes you just want to party alone, because two’s a crowd and there’s the constant pressure of perfection, satisfaction, dissatisfaction or “baby I’m not in the mood tonight” ugh! There are so many men and women out there who may NOT be sexually satisfied and masturbation is the key to release your pent-up sexual energies. It’s simple, effective and does the job!
And here’s a fact (for all fact lovers) When you’re arousing yourself, there’s a release of hormones which may seem like stars floating in your mind. So there’s dopamine which releases once the pleasure points of your body are activated, especially the biggest one- the brain. (yup, it’s not the penis or the clitoris, the brain is the mafia behind the conspiracy theory). Another hormone called endorphin is released that helps in reducing any aches or pain in the body and further aids in inducing a calm sleep and a general state of rest. In women, Prolactin is the hormone that helps in easing off the period cramps and helps relax the muscles of the pelvic area. Prolactin is also known to give you a calm sleep post climax.
So let’s face it, we come from the land of Kamasutra. The era that openly celebrated sexuality. Masturbation, too, has been extensively depicted in the art forms and was commonly practiced. But over time as the society evolved, so did the mentality and a taboo was attached to the act of masturbation. In fact, if together we work towards normalizing the talk around masturbation and promote it, the sexual frustration in all age groups and genders will stay at bay or may even go down. This will cause a more tolerant and safe society for men and women to flourish together with no sexual malpractices.
That said, it is eventually your choice. Not everyone likes to indulge in self exploration or going solo and that is fine. Masturbating should be done guilt free and totally by your rules as you are the solo guest attending this party. So have fun, love yourself and if you choose not to do it, trust me, it does not mean you love yourself any lesser.
Divya Sethi is the curator of both the concept and the blog.