WHAT IS A SEXUAL FETISH?
We’ve all heard the word ‘fetish’ multiple times, but more often than not, fail to understand its true meaning. So, before we get into the exciting stuff, let’s see what a fetish really means. A fetish is a feeling of sexual excitement towards an activity, object, or body part that’s usually not considered sexual. A foot fetish, where feet, legs, stockings, and more arouse someone, is a common example.
The list of fetishes is seemingly boundless. And, if you’re thinking of a complicated list, then you’ll be blown away by the simplicity. People can "fetishize" almost anything (yeah, it gets quite creative). But, here are a few examples.
- Feet, of course. Everything about feet, legs, heels, stockings and more is wildly arousing, especially for men.
2. Role-playing. This one’s quite fun, more than the role-playing we did as kids, of course. The sky’s the limit, or more like, consent is the limit.
3. Lingerie. Yes, we’re talking about those pretty, comfy, and lacy things lying in your wardrobe.
4. Group sex. It happens more often than we think it does.
5. Sensation Play. This fetish includes sensual activities like ice cubes, feather tickling, and blindfolding.
There are a lot of fetishes out there and they can be completely different from what you enjoy, which brings us to the next question.
IS IT OKAY TO HAVE FETISHES?
Yes, it’s completely okay to have fetishes. Just like everything sexual, even fetishes are all about consent. As long as both the partners involved mutually agree and enjoy it, things are on the right track. It only gets problematic when your fetish causes you or your partner distress or a feeling of being out of control.
So, as long as it’s interesting, fun and sexy, you’re fine. And now that you’re convinced that having a fetish is totally normal, let’s consider this.
HOW WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?
Having a conversation with your partner can feel like the scariest thing, which is mostly because fetishes are highly stigmatised. Here are some ways to help make this conversation light and easy.
- Try not to joke about it. It might seem like a fun way to go, but it’s really not. It might leave your partner feeling confused.
- If you want to share more details about your fetish, do so. Tell them why it’s personal to you and get into the details if you feel like it.
- Discuss where to start (if you’re starting), and start small. Fetishes are fun, but also totally new to you. So, baby steps.
Now, if you do decide to explore your fetishes with your partner, remember to discuss boundaries. This whole experience is outside both your comfort zones, so boundaries are definitely a good idea. And, it doesn’t have to be boring, you can choose creative safe words.
BUT WAIT, WHAT IF YOUR PARTNER ISN’T INTO YOUR FETISH?
That’s completely okay. What counts is that you had an open and honest discussion with your partner. You ticked consent and conversation off the list. And, you can always spend some time experimenting sexually with your partner and maybe discover a fetish you both enjoy. The possibilities are endless, remember?
The blog is written by Divyansh Mehta.